social skills

Expected & Unexpected Behaviors FREE Role Play Activity

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Social Thinking Vocabulary

Expected & unexpected behaviors are terms from the Social Thinking program by Michelle Garcia Winner and Dr. Pamela Crooke. The authors explain that “Expected and Unexpected” terms replace referring to behaviors as “Appropriate and Inappropriate”. They postulated that teachers and caregivers rarely acknowledge “Appropriate” behaviors; rather, more emphasis is placed on the negative term “Inappropriate”. The latter insinuates disappointment and reprimanding, not teaching. In my experience, role-playing expected and unexpected behaviors is effective for teaching these skills to students.

You are a Social Detective

Expected & Unexpected Behaviors: You Are a Social Detective

During my tenure in the school system, we frequently utilized the renowned social skills book: You are a Social Detective by Michelle Garcia Winner in our social skills groups. For the uninitiated, it starts with “smarts,” discussing our strengths, and then outlines expected school behaviors. The next part of the book gives examples of unexpected behaviors and discusses how these impact others’ perceptions of us. The authors released a second edition of You are a Social Detective in 2020, and it’s available digitally on Apple Books and Google Play.

Expected & Unexpected Behaviors Role Play

Expected & Unexpected Behaviors FREE Role Play Activity: woman with surprised expression during role play activity

While working in schools, I collaborated with social workers for quick lunch social skills sessions, using the Social Detective book. With time constraints, we read during lunch, followed by role plays using slips of paper with expected or unexpected behaviors. I created some examples that you can get at this link.

I stored role play scenarios in a refurbished container covered in mustache duck tape, calling it “I Mustache You to Role Play.” Kids simply reached in the container and drew a paper to role play the expected or unexpected behavior. Overall, fourth graders loved this game for social skills. It was a great extension activity for You are a Social Detective.

For more information on Social Thinking and to view free video trainings for children, please visit this link.

How to Write a Social Story

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One of the most frequently asked questions I have heard in both early intervention and school settings is:  How do you write a social story? I’ve discovered the value of not only offering educators and caregivers the stories they seek for their children but also providing guidance on crafting future social narratives. By the end of this post, I aim for you to feel empowered to craft your own impactful social stories.

Woman dressed in black writing a social story on a computer

What is a social story?

A social story is a personalized script that depicts any number of social scenarios.  According to the developer of social stories, Carol Gray, “Social Stories are a social learning tool that supports the safe and meaningful exchange of information between parents, professionals, and people with autism of all ages.” Written in the first person, the social story may be repeated aloud; therefore, we want these utterances to be grammatically correct and personify the speaker. If a child memorizes a script like “You will feel proud,” it may sound awkward in social situations.  Rather, this line in a social story should say, “I will feel proud.”

Who benefits from social stories?

Children with autism and other communication delays have particular difficulty comprehending and responding to routine and unexpected social situations. Social stories define social sequences, aiding comprehension for autistic children, whether through text alone or with visuals.

What can I use to write my own, visual social story?

While there are many social stories for sale, it is easier to compose one specific to the child’s needs. These stories can be generated using apps on an iPad like, Social Story Creator & Library by Touch Autism or Custom Boards by Smarty Ears apps. Create a photo album with typed sentences to ensure consistent reading, aligning with pictures for a cohesive story experience.

Whether your social story is a few pictures in a photo album or several sentences on one full page, there are some elements that must be included in order for the story to be effective. Let’s look at a sample story and examine the  four types of sentences that comprise a social story.

Guideline for Writing Social Stories:

Story title:  Changing into Gym Clothes Before Gym Class

Before we can go to gym class, we need to change into our gym clothes. (This is an example of a descriptive sentence. You may use a few of these in one story.)

Other children in my class need to change into their gym clothes before gym class too. (This is a perspective sentence because it describes another’s actions.)

I will try and stay calm in the noisy changing room. (This directive sentence type is a statement of the response or action you are trying to achieve with the social story. You can even add some techniques that help the child “calm” such as taking deep breaths or counting.)

Most people change into gym clothes before gym class so they will not ruin their school clothes. It is a good idea to keep our school clothes clean. (This final sentence is called an affirmative one because it affirms or reinforces the other sentences in the story and reiterates values and opinions.)

While I have seen some written using negative connotations like, “I will not hit my friends,” we know that repeating these lines can reinforce those unacceptable behaviors.  A better option would be to script the expected action, “I will have quiet, calm hands with my friends.”

Sample Social Story Resources:

I hope that the details in this post provided you with all the information that you need to write your own social stories.  However, if you are not quite ready to start from scratch, then I have listed some resources with sample stories to use or edit:

Writing Social Stories with Carol Gray

The New Social Stories Book: Revised and Expanded 15th Anniversary Edition

204 Fold and Say Social Stories

Given the emotional content some social stories are more challenging to write than others, so Carol Gray wrote some sample social stories covering topics like, safety, tragedy, self discovery, stereotypes, and resilience.

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